How do I stop living for others and start living for myself?
How the other’s people expectations feel
Have you ever felt like your life choices weren’t truly your own? Maybe you’ve shaped your career, lifestyle, or even personality around what others expect from you—your family, friends, colleagues, or even society at large. If so, you’re not alone. The weight of external expectations can be overwhelming, making it difficult to step into what you truly want.
As a coach and Biodecoding therapist, I’ve worked with many people who felt stuck, unable to make decisions without worrying about disappointing others. The fear of judgment or rejection can be paralysing. But why does this happen, and more importantly, what can you do about it?
Why do we struggle to break free from others’ expectations?
There are deep-rooted reasons why it feels so hard to choose our own path when others have a different vision for us. Some of the most common ones include:
Fear of rejection and judgment – Since childhood, we’ve been conditioned to seek approval. Our brain is wired for social belonging, so the idea of disappointing those around us can feel threatening, even if logically we know we have the right to make our own choices.
Chronic stress and mental exhaustion – When we’re constantly battling between what we want and what others expect, our mind becomes drained. Stress makes it harder to think clearly, often keeping us stuck in inaction.
Living on autopilot – If you’ve followed a predefined path for years, questioning it can feel overwhelming. The brain prefers the familiar, so even considering change can trigger resistance.
Limiting beliefs about success and happiness – Society has ingrained ideas about what a ‘good’ life should look like. If our dreams don’t fit into these expectations, we may feel they’re not valid or achievable.
How do you know if you’re making choices based on others’ expectations?
Here are some questions to reflect on:
Do you feel guilty when considering a different path than what others expect?
Are your decisions influenced by how much approval you’ll receive?
Do you struggle to make big changes because you fear how people will react?
Are you sacrificing personal happiness to avoid disappointing others?
A real-life example of breaking free
One of my clients, a highly successful professional, spent years in a job she hated because it aligned with her family’s definition of success. Despite her financial stability, she felt empty, uninspired, and lost. The thought of quitting seemed impossible—what would people think? Would she be letting her family down?
It wasn’t until she started questioning what she truly wanted that she saw the invisible chains holding her back. With guidance and inner work, she finally made the decision to step away and pursue a completely different path—one that truly fulfilled her. And contrary to her fears, she found that those who truly cared about her supported her happiness, even if they didn’t initially understand her choice.
Breaking the chains
What’s next?
If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment, and I’ll share some additional insights to help you start breaking free from these patterns.
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